But Where’s The Baby?

Beth’s Story:
It was dark, so it must have been late, or early if we want to get technical about it. The birds weren’t chirping just yet so it was definitely before 4am. I opened my heavy lids to check in on Emerson, who was swaddled nursing at my breast.

As I gazed down I noticed all I could see was the soft yellow blanket. Panic immediately hit me.
“I must have dozed off and covered her face with the blanket!” How long had she been like this? I frantically sat up and started pawing at the blanket. My panic deepened when my hands weren’t met with her little cherub face right away. At this point I was holding my bundle straight in front of me unwrapping the blanket as quickly as I could.

“Where is my baby?!”  I was finding nothing but blanket and air. It wasn’t until I had unwrapped the whole blanket that I was awake enough to glance over at Emerson’s sleeper chair. There she was, sound asleep, hands folded to her chest; safely tucked away right where I had left her.

Confused, I looked back at my tangled mess of blankets and my exposed boob. And then it hit me. In my sleepy, fuzzy, mommy-driven subconscious I had bundled up my blanket into a baby shape and naturally brought it to my chest to nurse. I was nursing a blanket. That’s normal, right?

Kyle’s Story:

The next night, Kyle had taken Emerson around 8:45pm to settle her into a deep sleep while I turned in for the start of an interesting night. Exhausted, I quickly passed out and didn’t awake until 10:30 or so. Kyle was sleeping beside me and the nightlight was casting its soft glow around the room. I let my eyes focus for a minute before turning over to check on Emmie in her sleeper chair. She wasn’t there! The monitor wasn’t on, so I doubted she was in her crib, and I couldn’t see anything in the pack-n-play.

Panicked, I smacked Kyle. In my mind he had fallen asleep with her on his chest and for all I knew Emerson was on the floor snuggling with Oliver at this point.
*Smack smack smack* “KYLE.  Where’s the baby??”
No response.
My second set of smacks were met with a sleepy gaze. “Yea?”
“Where’s the baby?? Where’s Emerson? She’s not in her chair!”
At this point Kyle looks down at his chest. Oh, the panic! He did fall asleep with her… Oh, my god, where is my baby??

It took him what seemed like forever to answer me but finally he looked at me and said, “She’s in her pack-n-play.”

“Oh.” Awkward. I just couldn’t see her since my eyes don’t focus well in the dark without my glasses. Sure enough, there she was just like Kyle said. I apologized and we both went back to sleep.

At 11:30pm Emerson fussed. I woke up Kyle.
“Can you get her for me, and change her please?”

Even in his drowsy state Kyle immediately rose from the bed, walked over to Emerson, picked her up and proceeded to change her diaper. He then brought her to me where I latched her on and we snuggled while she nursed.

Kyle asked if there was anything else I needed as he slid back under the covers. He drifted back off to sleep as I told him that Emmie and I were all set, and thanked him for his diaper changing services.

About an hour later, Emmie was still snuggling my boobie, fighting her way back to sleep. All of a sudden Kyle swings his legs over the side of the bed and sits up. I find this odd. Was he getting up to use the bathroom? Was he still sleeping? I shifted Emerson to free up my hand closest to him so I can pat him on the back and see if he’s awake.

I hadn’t reached his back when he started patting something. It was the pillow he usually keeps between his knees while he sleeps, rolled up into a ball and swaddled in his blanket. After a minute, I watched him unwrap the pillow from the blanket and he slowly discovered it was just a pillow. He turned around to face me, horror-struck.

“Where’s the baby?”

“What? She’s right here, nursing.”

“What was I supposed to be doing then? You wanted me to put her back, or bring her to you? Change her? What did you ask me to do?”

“Um….” Clearly, he was confused. “I had asked you to change her about an hour ago when you brought her to me, but we’re all set now.”

“Huh. Okay. I thought I had her, but it was my pillow…”

So Kyle has a pillow baby, and I nurse blankets. All part of parenting right?

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Taming a milk monster

For the past week now we’ve had our mix of good nights and bad nights… Although I wouldn’t necessarily classify them as “bad,” just less awesome.

Last night as I was rocking a fussy milk monster I looked over at my husband fast asleep. Then, it hit me, the jealousy — the sleep-deprived mommy rage. “Oh sure”, I thought, “look at him flaunting the fact that he can sleep and I’m running a 24-hour milk bar.” It was only a quick moment but I didn’t like how it felt.

Nursing a newborn is tough, there’s no two ways about it. I’ll remind myself  she’s only little once -she won’t do this forever. Even though I’m sacrificing sleep it’s because I’m the only person at the moment who can soothe this wriggly, growling milk monster; taming her until she falls into a milky stupor when her limbs get heavy and her fingers relax.

And in those few moments when the only noise is her rhythmic swallowing and a few contented sighs I no longer care about sleeping. The only thing that matters is this little sleeping baby cradled to my breast.

We’ll eventually fall into a rhythm, a nightly routine, and until then I have to remind myself the moments of beauty vastly outweigh the things being sacrificed. Besides, if I was sleeping at night, my daytime naps would drastically lose their total awesomeness.
So here’s to all our future late night dates, little Emmie. 
There’s nothing I wouldn’t sacrifice for you.
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1 Week

This would have been my 40 week pregnancy update, but instead I get to write about Emerson’s first week of life! 

It is just such an incredible feeling having her here. Ever since she came into this world both Kyle and I have been completely smitten with her. The amount of love for this girl can’t be quantified. We are loving so much it hurts.
Bringing Emmie home has been wonderful. It really has amplified the love I feel for Kyle. We’ve been working so well as a team, that I think we’re both surprised at how quickly and easily this past week has flown by. We had braced ourselves for the worst, especially after going to our natural birthing classes where they warn you about the hormonal crash you can expect after birth. Besides one night with a few tears on my end (due to some breast feeding issues) we’ve both felt amazing. We feel incredibly fortunate that parenthood has been coming so easily for us thus far. There are times where I still get weepy with joy that I’m holding my baby. Our baby. 

 We certainly love you little lady! 

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Emmie is here

Hello everyone!
I know a lot of you have already heard the news, that the little ninja has finally made her appearance! Emerson was born on Wednesday June 18th at 10:29 am. She weighed in at 6 pounds 5 oz. 

I know a lot of you are antsy to see her pictures and hear her birthday story but you’ll have to bear with me while I sort it all out! 
Everyone is happy, healthy, and we’re completely smitten with our little lady. 

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39 Weeks and that time I thought I was in labor

Here I am a jolly 39 weeks pregnant. And all my doctors tried to warn me that I might not make it full term. “If you get that far,” they’d say. Well, little ninja and I certainly showed them!

Last pictures of me pregnant!

This week has been exhausting: full of anticipation, anxiousness, and some emotional meltdowns. On Friday I woke up feeling fantastic and I had a very excited feeling about the day. Around 10 am I started having some contractions, which if it was 10pm I wouldn’t have thought twice about. I hadn’t ever had braxton hicks in the morning so it was new, but I tried not to get too excited. I had an appointment around 1pm and I figured they’d certainly be gone by the time my appointment rolled around.

I continued about my day somewhat aware that my contractions continued. It wasn’t until I was driving to my appointment and they still hadn’t gone away that I began to get excited. I watched on the monitor of my non-stress test as I contracted almost every 5th or 6th minute for the whole 40 minute test. Baby passed her test with flying colors and I joked that I might not get to see her on my next appointment if these contractions continued on!

By the time I left the hospital and drove home – still contracting, I was definitely in the “I think I might be in early labor!” excited phase. At home around 3:30 I messaged Kyle to get him up to speed. I’d told him I may be in labor, but then again maybe not so I’ll keep you updated. Around 4 I started timing them. They were coming every 3-5 minutes pretty consistently and lasting for 45-75 seconds. I decided to relax and read instead of running around like a madwomen since if it was the real deal I wanted to conserve my energy!

Somewhere between 5 and 5:30 they started getting further apart. I walked around. Further still. By 7 they were back to being almost 8-10 minutes apart. I was pretty bummed. The contractions I had all day weren’t painful. They were noticeable and some definitely took my breath away but for the most part I could walk and function through them.

Although, I am glad I don’t follow directions because according the hospital handout I should have gone in around 4 because I was having “labor signs”. (Contracting every 5-7 minutes for 45-60 seconds for more than 1 hour). The reason I’m glad I didn’t go in, is because clearly little ninja wasn’t ready. My body wasn’t ready, it just wasn’t time! At the hospital they would have deemed it ‘failure to progress’ and started pitocin to help keep the contractions going.  Induction or interventions are the last thing I want so I plan on staying home as long as I can.

That night I had quite the emotional breakdown. I was tired, I had let myself get too excited and now I was bummed out. I thought my body was broken and had failed me. I also was super annoyed with Kyle. Sorry honey! Tension was pretty thick that night but all was resolved (with a lot of snot dripping, ugly crying on my part) and we continued on.

The weekend was pretty uneventful. I was still hoping contractions would kick back in, but the weekend proved to be pretty quite. The weather was absolutely gorgeous so we tried to take advantage of the beautiful days and we logged a lot of time outside.

I have some appointments today: non-stress test first and then an OB appointment afterwards.

All in all I’m very thankful that this pregnancy has gone so well. I never imagined I’d be sitting here a full 39 weeks pregnant. And heck, in 7 days I could be sitting here saying the same thing but only a week further! As long as little ninja is healthy and kicking she can take her time. It’s not easy picking your birthday you know- you have to live with your choice for the rest of your life!

Although I will say I wouldn’t mind if she hurried it up a little. We had two couples come into our birthing class last night to share their birth stories and they both had little 2 month old baby girls. After seeing their absolute cuteness both myself and Kyle were feeling a little on the impatient side with our little loaf still cooking. I just need me some baby cheeks to kiss!!

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The Waiting Game

Tuesday I hit the 38 week mark. My day was also filled with appointments, as will be every Tuesday from here on out. Both appointments were pretty uneventful, but took up most of the day; with such a big practice you end up waiting quite a bit. I start biweekly non-stress tests this week…yay. (Sarcasm) I knew this point was coming but it’s still frustrating none the less. We haven’t seen a single issue on any of the stress tests we’ve done so I feel a little silly going in twice a week for an hour just to be sent home with a ‘looks great!’

I had a lot of braxton hicks contraction this past week, almost every night. They’d start up around 4 or 5pm and then I’d go to bed with them. They were always gone by morning but it’s still exciting knowing my body is practicing for the real deal. They’re not painful but some of the stronger ones certainly take my breath away and I have to focus on not panicking but rather just breathing through it. 
Since feeling better I’ve had more energy to do normal late pregnancy things – like wash and fold tiny baby clothes, pack my hospital bag, and vacuum the baseboards upstairs — you know the important things. I find I’m only able to do a certain amount of things before I’m completely done for the day, just poof! Wiped out. Thankfully Oliver has been really really good for me this past week. We try to get out for a walk every day but it’s usually not until the end of the day and he’s been very patient! 
I managed to gain a pound this week, which is always good news, especially since my blood sugars were all over the place this week! I kept falling low for random reasons. I had a few highs that snuck in there too. Doctors were less concerned about my high numbers and more concerned with my lows. I’m being more conscious of eating a balanced snack before bed (to ward off low numbers during the night) and just more frequently during the day. 
Kyle has been working lots of hours for the past few weeks, so that he’ll be ready to take some time off when little ninja decides she wants to come. Usually he leaves before I’m up and I don’t see him until 7 sometimes 8/8:30 at night. I think after this week he’ll have enough lined up for his undergrads to work on while he’s away and he’ll feel more prepared for little lady’s arrival. 
I’m feeling anxious and bored just waiting for the show to start. My feet have been swelling on and off (usually after standing or walking for prolong periods of time) and I’m experiencing some sleep issues.  I’m also really warm almost all of the time these days, especially at night! Thank goodness for air conditioning! 
Well, that about sums it up here. 
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Officially Full Term aka 37 Weeks

This is the week that I officially hit “full term” status. The pregnancy app I have on my ipad tells me 36 is considered full term, but by hospital standards I believe it’s really 37 weeks.

This past week was a toughie for me. I had to finish up the last few days of Cayston in order to start Vancomycin and I just felt so crummy. I had a few low grade fevers on and off. The weekend was pretty uneventful.

I switched over to Vancomycin a few days early and did my first day on Sunday. I can confidently say that I’m feeling better today. I felt relatively better yesterday, after having a full day of doses, but after 4 doses I feel better. Thank-goodness! I feel so grateful that I pick up so amazingly quick when I inhale Vanc. Feeling pretty crummy was a major source of anxiety for me, so the fact that I’m feeling better 48 hours in a 4 week course of this antibiotic is very reassuring.

Today was an exciting day for me. I had my LAST ultrasound of little ninja! She was in a great position. Her head was way down and she was facing my back. The optimal exit position, if you will. She was so far down in my pelvis that we couldn’t get any face picture this week at the ultrasound and the tech had some difficulties getting her head measurements! Maybe it’s a sign that she’ll be here sooner rather than later! You never know.

Little Ladies’ estimate weight today was 5 pounds and 12 oz. Just 4 oz shy of 6 pounds! If she hangs out for 3 more weeks she could easily hit the 7 pound mark!

I had an OB appointment after my ultrasound. Nothing new to report. I did lose some weight, but I had a feeling that was happening thanks to feeling so crummy and coughing so frequently. I was tested for group B strep today, and if it comes back positive I’ll get an antibiotic drip during labor. Usually it’s a penicillin based drug but since I had a reaction to the only other penicillin drug I’ve ever had, we’d be using something different.

After that appointment I headed over to my NST. This was the first week that the monitors were picking up contractions! My resting uterus is about a level 15 on the contraction monitor and I had several contractions that went mid 30’s to high 40’s. I felt one out of the 5 I had. She pointed out the other 4 but I wasn’t convinced that they were real. I think coughing brings on slight contractions but that could just be me making things up.

That’s it! It’s officially BABY month! Unless of course, just to spite me saying that she takes her sweet ‘ole time and goes all the way to July.

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