Life lately, according to our phones:
PS: Note to future self; please check under the rice cooker for felt food before cooking rice. Melted felt does not smell awesome.
PPS: Make more GIFs. They’re awesome.,
Have you ever had one of those moments where after it’s over you feel like you’ve just been enveloped in a warm hug? Well, our weekend was like one freakin’ humongous bear hug. We had my in-laws come down where we splurged on nice food, dressed up in fancy dresses, had an easter egg hunt, enjoyed a day full of sunshine, and three days of pure love. Weekend like these fuel you up and come Monday you’re ready to tackle it all. Your soul is happy, your spirit elated and life is peaceful. Thanks for such a wonderful visit Grandma & Grandpa O! We love you.
I have so many words for you tucked away in my heart. Some are tucked away for good, and some are just waiting for the right moment to dazzle you with their substance. You’re not a sappy person-you make sure your emotions never sit too close to the surface, and you keep your internal monologues buried deep. I make up for your emotional elusiveness, since I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve. When I’m stressed or sad I like to cry, or bawl, depending on the mood. My jaw juts out when I’m annoyed and I literally bounce around making up songs when I’m happy. We’re quite the pair you and I.
But for all those words I do say, there are some I don’t say enough. How grateful I am that you lift me up, that you encourage me to be a better person. How my heart feels like it’s going to explode out of my chest when I see you with Emerson. How all the little things you do for me flood me with appreciation. How I would do anything to make you feel better when you’re disappointed. How I want to hold you forever when you’re sad. How I want to parade you around and rattle off all you’ve accomplished so far, but would never dare to since you’d probably keel over with embarrassment… (PS I realize the irony here as I’m gushing about you over the world wide web, but ya know, I gotta do what I gotta do. Continue)
We met when we were so young, just kids ourselves, trying to navigate the strange world that is teenage acne and kissing with tongue. What started out as such an innocent friendship became something so much grander. See, in those timid teenage years we did something so important. We started building the foundation to the relationship we have now.
You were, and continue to be, my best friend and our friendship has only grown stronger as time moves on. I so desperately want you to know just how much I loved you then, and how much I love you now, but most importantly that I’ll never stop loving you. It is an honor to be your wife.
We took Emerson to a local farm for a private Easter egg hunt with some of our friends. Girlfriend was diggin’ it. She got to pet baby chicks, see a calf drink from a bottle, go for a hayride and she hunted down those Easter eggs like a boss.
It was my birthday this weekend. We didn’t do much celebrating since Hubby is still in full force study mode since he defends his PhD thesis this week. I continued my normal daily duties of a stay at home mom, and mumbled about the fact that it snowed for the second year in a row on my birthday. Good grief!
Since the weekend produced nothing in the blog-worthy category, I thought we could reminisce about a birthday that happened last June. My sweet little lady bug turned one. I wrote this entry back on the eve of Emerson’s first birthday:
Today Emerson saw the ocean for the first time. She marched right up to the crest where dry sand meets sand frequently drenched with ocean waves, lifted her little arm and said ooh. Yes, my girl is one after my own heart, the beach is in her blood. She picked up handful after handful of sand, explored dried seaweed, and not once did she try to eat a “sand cookie,” something my younger self can’t claim.
It wasn’t until Kyle was wrapping Emmie up in a towel and asked her, “do you remember when we used to swaddle you?,” that it hit me. My little girl is no longer a baby. Her smooshy, cheeky baby face has thinned out into a peanut toddler face. She no longer needs me to hold her head, and rarely does she want me to hold her hand. Yes, my little one loves to walk, explore, reach, and climb. She loves to dance, read and snuggle her animals. My little girl is turning one tomorrow.
This year has flown by. While we had some hard moments, all that floods my memory are all the amazing times we’ve had as a family of three. I simply cannot remember what life was like without my little Emerson. I am so excited to see what this next year brings. I love you Emma Claire and you will always be my baby.
I hope everyone had a wonderful St. Patrick’s Day! I managed to serve a rainbow of fruit for breakfast, and that’s about as far as my creativity got that day. The other 3 Pinterest-worthy ideas I had were left sitting out on the counter taunting me. We had a busy day complete with a cranky baby so the holiday crafts were not a top priority. It’s not like Emerson really appreciates the fact that I took 10 minutes of my life to dye pasta with green food coloring so we could make a green St. Patty’s Day inspired necklace while also honing her fine motor skills at the same time. And honestly, she’d probably be freaked out if I tried to paint her hand green for the hand-shamrock activity I also had planned. So instead she ate her rainbow of fruit and wore a green tutu dress… and that was that.
But speaking of appreciation, the library has mine! Emerson and I have been going once a week. The kid section of our library is great: it’s secluded, it has a play area, and it’s pretty big! While Emmie plays, I thoughtfully pick out a selection of books for her. I pick out books that relate to the season, to upcoming holidays, to milestones she’s close to and even ideas we’ve talked about at home. Her favorite books are the ones that feature animals.
In contrast, as we make our way to check out, I hastily pluck a book off the “New Fiction” display for myself. The book I grab is solely based on one of two things: the title and/or the cover. I know! I know. You’re never supposed to judge a book this way, but recently, it’s all I’ve got time for. Funnily enough I’ve actually had some pretty great luck doing this. Okayyy, if we’re honest, I’ve also had some pretty crummy books too. Regardless, it’s still nice to head to bed knowing you have a new book awaiting you.
Apparently Emerson agrees with me as she’s been quietly boycotting bed. For two hours after we tuck her in, she wanders around her room gathering her stuffed animals and flipping through all the books she can find. It’s hard to be mad at her for staying up so late when she’s quietly reading. I mean, c’mon! Plus, let’s be real here, this face doesn’t hurt.
Sometimes motherhood feels overwhelming. You become bogged down with all the worries, anxieties, and fears of not being enough. Not providing enough love, enough creativity, enough activities. You worry about singing enough songs, reading enough books, painting enough pictures. You worry about being present but encouraging independence. You worry that you’re just not enough.
And then, it all fades away in an instant.
I was getting Emerson dressed for the day. We were layering since there was still a bitter winter chill in the air and we were headed to the park. Tights, then leggings. A blue long sleeve bodysuit. I pulled out a faded Wonder Woman tee to throw over as an easy layer. Wonder Woman with her wild – yet glamorously tamed- hair, her bold bodysuit and fearless pose swooping in to save the day.
Emerson peaked over at the shirt and her face lit up. Pointing to the woman on the shirt, she gasp, “Mama!” And just like that, all those silly fears of not being enough faded into nothingness. According to my daughter, I was Wonder Woman.
I laughed and said, “You think that’s me?” Emerson’s classic ‘yes’ nod followed. Deliberate and slow: up, down. Yes. She pointed again, “Mama! Mama!” I laughed again, but this time, I nodded in agreement. Sure, kiddo, if you want to think I’m Wonder Woman go right ahead. And in that moment in time I knew; I am enough.